Setting Expectations in Relationships

A few weeks ago, I paid for my younger sister to attend a seminar. I was really excited for her to go and I couldn’t wait to talk about the learnings she would experience and how she would apply them.

I would text her throughout the day:

Me: “How’s the class going?”

Her: “It’s good thanks.” Since she was less forthcoming in texts, I EXPECTED her to call me after taking the class and chat me up about her experience. No call. I texted her to follow up. Again, super short replies and weeks went by. I started to find myself having a lot of thoughts and feelings about this. Mostly, annoyance, frustration, and hurt around my view of her unwillingness to share with me. I PAID FOR THIS BTW!

Then I thought: How many times do we have expectations of what people should do AND we never tell them? Then we get upset when they don’t live up to our un-communicated expectations. I thought my sister SHOULD have known better. Yet, when did I ever express my wishes to her? We inherently think that people should know how to interact with us. YET WE NEVER TELL THEM.

 

When you find yourself in this situation, stop and ask: Did I clearly express my wishes and desires? More importantly, did they agree?

 

I’m sure you will be surprised by your answer. #CuratedCoachTips

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